
CAT QUIPS!
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The Naming of Cats by T. S. Elliot
The naming of cats is a difficult matter, It isn't just one of your holiday games; You may think at first I'm mad as a hatter When I tell you a cat must have three different names.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily, Such as Victor, or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey--
All of them sensible everyday names. There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter, Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames; Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter--
But all of them sensible everyday names. But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular, A name that is peculiar, and more dignified, Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride? Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum, Such as Munkustrap, Quazo or Coripat, Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellyrum--
Names that never belong to more than one cat. But above and beyond there's still one name left over, And that is the name that you will never guess; The name that no human research can discover--
But The Cat Himself Knows, and will never confess. When you notice a cat in profound meditation, The reason, I tell you, is always the same: His mind is engaged in rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name: His ineffable effable Effanineffable Deep and inscrutable singular Name.
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