Northern Ohio Live : October 2000 Volume

Heavy Mettle

Fat acceptance convention will tackle weighty subjects, poetry, sex, and things that go plum in the night

  By Laura Kennelly

  Hanne Blank, author of Big Big Love, wants you to know that fat and sex not only mix, they “mingle, bump and grind, sweat, wiggle, shout and sigh with pleasure.”

 Trim’s not the only standard to measure sensuality by, says Blank, a stylish, good0sized woman with a good-sized attitude and total approval of  “hunky, chunky” guys shaped like Drew Carey or John Goodman.  She argues for a “Plumpdex” scale of sexual preference, depending on how much meat partners have on their bones.  But plump or not, fat sexuality should be respected.  “The combination of fat people and sex isn’t just a good idea, it’s a flesh-and –blood reality,” she says.

 Blank, the special guest speaker at the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance’s Midwest Conference, October 20-22 at the Sheraton Airport Hotel, could be right.  One hopes she is, since, according to the latest U.S. Department of Health and Human Services report, over half the United States population can e classified as “overweight,” with 25% of the population moving on up to “obese” on the scale.  No one wants to think of that many cranky, frustrated people.

 But, sex aside, Bland and NAAFA make a good case for increasing fat acceptance, especially when it comes to fashion design, airplane seat size and exercise rooms.

 The Midwest convention, expected to draw a couple of hundred people from all over the United States, features private pool parties (for the shy), karaoke (for the not-so-shy), psychic readings (for the curious) and a Halloween masquerade ball and banquet (for the sociable).  There will also be a breakfast buffet and fashion show – with large-sized clothing vendors in the wings.

 Whether flying in to the conference or not, members will be treated to a poetry chapbook called Chewing the Fat in Cleveland 2000.  Edited by Jim Perkins, Cleveland chapter president, poems written by winners of the poetry contest sponsored by NAAFA’s Northern Ohio chapter will explore moods ranging from defiant to wistful.

“Fat people have strong feelings,” says Perkins, “and some don’t mind speaking up for the rest.”  He agrees it’s a good thing the conference lets people talk about subjects they wouldn’t broach with thinner people – some of them embarrassing, like cracking toilet seats.  “You have a choice,” he says:  “You can either be ashamed, or you can live your life.  You can only be guilty so long.”

 Pat Dobrovic of Parma Heights, vice-president of the Cleveland NAAFA chapter, insists, “Fat is not a four-letter word.  It’s simply a word.  NAAFA wants to take back that word.”

 Dobrovic believes ads for diet product combined with fashions featuring skinny models make our society crazy.  “We’re not all cookie-cutter shapes, and it’s just wrong to think that fat people are miserable and have no life.  “  NAAFA doesn’t urge people to eat what they want:  it encourages a healthy lifestyle.”  “  But you can’t fight your body,” she says, “You have a right to exist.  What we resent the most are the do-gooders’ who think we need their advice or help.”

 Dobrovic voice softens as she recounts the feeling she got in 1993 when she first joined NAAFA.  “Nowhere, not even in my own family – and some of us are large – have I felt that comfortable in a group.  Fat was not an issue.  We talked about things that everyone talks about:  How’s the job?  I love your hairstyle.  No one noticed size or fat.”

One luxury offered at the Midwest convention will be a private swim for NAAFA members when the regular pool hours are over at the hotel. 

 “Water’s fabulous for a large person,” says Dobrovic.  “It makes you mobile, and yet it’s good exercise - -like weight lifting, but easy on the joints.”  It’s almost impossible for a fat person to get up the nerve to struggle into a swimsuit (if one can be found large enough: and then walk past stares and comments, even encouraging comments.  “Wearing a bathing suit can be extremely traumatic.  We just want people to leave us alone and mind their own business.”

 Finding that perfect swimsuit is a little easier, Dobrovic notes, now that the fat acceptance movement has let it be known there’s a large market out there for big suits.  Catherine Potemra, in Pittsburgh, started sewing because she needed something to wear.  Now, her company, Catherine’s Plus Sizes, is Nationwide and has a Web site: www.catherines.com.

 Large people, especially if they are tall, need well-designed garments that don’t drag the body down with excess weight.  “In the past, about all people could find to wear looked like a sheet with holes cut in it for the head and arms,” Dobrovic says with a laugh.  She finds the situation better today, but things still aren’t perfect.  For example, she would love it if airlines would start designing seats in larger sizes too.  “Sometimes we have to buy two tickets – and forget drinking a soft drink, because you don’t want to have to get up to use the restroom.  Flying – those are just the longest hours of my life,” she sighs.

 The local group sponsors group events year-round.  For more information, call the local chapter at (216)- 556-5676 or www.ltech.net/naafa.

Your Loss

How dare you judge the look of me
with blindered eyes of scorn.
You look at me, but you don’t see

the who, the why that I might be
inside this case I’ve always worn.
How dare you judge the look of me.

 You know me not, but feel so free
to salt the wounds, to twist the thorn.
You look at me, but you don’t see

 the love, the warmth, the dignity,
the weights of which you’ve never borne.
How dare you judge the look of me

 with rules forged by your vanity.
You see the husk, but not the corn.
You look at me, but you don’t see

 beneath the mask, so you perceive
a horse where stands a unicorn…
How dare you judge the look of me,
you look at me…but, you don’t see.

-Jim Perkins  

  from Reunion

More than a fat girl reflection
I wear my body with pride
I like who I am
I’ve grown since then.

-Bonnie Masci  

  from Chewing the Fat in Cleveland

Kiss my big ass and pass the chips.
Please…don’t look so surprised.
Life is more than slender hips
and anorexic thighs.

-Jim Perkins